Christmas isn't merry, depressed, depressed at Christmas, not feeling the holiday spirit, sadness

When Christmas Isn’t Merry

For those who experienced recent loss, Christmas can be a time of sadness.

Friends and family are wishing you a, “Merry Christmas!” and you return the sentiment, but it feels hollow. All you can focus on is your loss, your grief, and the void you feel. What are some things you can do to help you get through this holiday season?

  1. Recognize your feelings – It is perfectly okay to not be in the Christmas mood. It’s okay to acknowledge that you are hurting. That you are grieving. That you feel the loss so intently, you don’t feel like celebrating. It is both okay and healthy to acknowledge those feelings and accept them for what they are…feelings.
  2. Have a safe person – Have a friend or family member you can trust to vent to. Having someone to lean on during this season of joy and happiness, will help you walk through the days when the sadness threatens to overwhelm.
  3. Don’t use alcohol to numb the pain – As tempting as it is, turning to substances to help deal with the pain actually makes the situation worse. Rather, utilize the release of endorphins that comes with exercise to help deal with the feelings of grief, sadness, and depression.
  4. Take it one day at a time – When the pain of loss gets too much, remind yourself that you simply have to make it through that day, that minute, that moment. Everything else can be pushed to the side. You will make it through Christmas. You will begin to heal. You can choose to focus on only making it through one day at a time. Doing so, will give you a tangible goal to reach towards.

It’s really hard to make through a season of happiness, family, and friends when you are grieving a loss. Try to remember, you are loved and this pain won’t last forever.


About the Author

Christine Santos

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Owner of Sun State Doulas, Christine is passionate about pregnancy, birth, and parenting issues that affect mainstream families. She is mother to 3 girls and is an active member of the roller derby community. Her favorite quote is, “Not my body, not my baby, not my birth, not my choice.”

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