At Sun State Doulas, we believe in providing our clients with unbiased, non-judgmental support. What does that really mean though? Why does it even need to be said? Isn’t the whole premise behind doulas, support?
What does unbiased, non-judgmental support mean?
We support our clients’ right to make decisions based on what they feel is best for themselves and their families even if it isn’t what we would choose, personally. Every individual on this planet is unique. We each have different beliefs, ideologies, and preferences. These differences are what makes the world an exciting place. Many times, however, these differences lead to conflict. It has been, and will continue to be, my belief that just because I don’t agree with what you believe or the choices you make, it doesn’t mean I can’t support you. Your choices, your beliefs, your preferences, are not any less deserving of support than mine. They are simply…different.
In addition, at Sun State Doulas, we believe our clients are intelligent and knowledgeable. Our clients do research. Our clients ask friends and family for advice and insight. Our clients know in their guts when something doesn’t feel right for them. Our clients ask us for research, advice, and insight. Our clients have life experiences that alter their choices. We believe our clients make intelligent choices that reflect what is best for themselves and their families.
Why do you need to say that you offer “unbiased, non-judgmental support?”
In the culture we live in, many people say one thing and do another. At one time, I was one of those people. I would tell my clients I offered non-judgmental support, but the minute they chose a birth path or parenting choice that went against what I thought was “right,” I began judging them. I would try to talk them out of their decisions. I would try to tell them why the choice they made was wrong. I would shove research and information down their throats all in the guise of being “helpful.” Looking back, I think how arrogant of me to think I knew better than my clients what was best for their needs. How incredibly pompous to think I needed to “save” them from their decisions!
Aren’t doulas all about support anyway?
As birth professionals our goal is to support our clients… No. Matter. What. We are not here to be activists. We are not here to be advocates. We are not here to be knights in shining armor. We are not here to be saviors. We are here to be the one person they can count on for 100% unbiased, non-judgmental support. Our job is to support our clients in the decisions they make, not to force our beliefs and our preferences on them. What works for us and for our family may be a horrible choice for our clients. We don’t live their lives, walk in their shoes, think their thoughts, or feel their emotions. So, how in the world are we going to be so conceited to believe we have a right to tell them what choices are best for them?