sex after having a baby, postpartum sex, intercourse after birth

Sex After Having A Baby

She leans in and whispers, “What’s it like?”

“What’s what like?” I reply, utterly confused.

“You know. Sex after having a baby. What’s it like?”

I pause and reflect. “Different.”

Sex after having a baby is different. After waiting six plus weeks for clearance from your care provider, you may be anxious to get things rolling again or nervous about how it will feel. If you had a cesarean birth, the wait may be even longer.

What can I expect?

In many ways, having sex after having a baby feels like your very first time all over again.

  • There is blood…and other stuff. Lochia can last for several weeks postpartum. Although it is recommended to wait until lochia stops for several days, overexertion can cause it to start again.
  • If you had a vaginal birth, everything may still be sensitive and sore. This is not the time to try rough sex.
  • Your breasts may leak or you may have a let-down.
  • If you had sutures, things may be tighter than you remember.
  • Patience and understanding are key. Your partner should be willing to go slow and stop, as needed.
  • It can take several times before things feel “normal” again.


Sex after having a baby is different, but it doesn’t have to be bad. Here are some tips to help things go smoother:

  • Put a towel or chuck pad down.
  • Foreplay is fantastic!
  • Lubricant is your friend.
  • Go slow.
  • (For the men) Listen to your partner. Only she knows how her body feels.
  • Wear a bra with breast pads.
  • Use the relaxation techniques they taught you in your childbirth education class.
  • If things don’t work out the first time, don’t give up.

At this point you may begin to wonder why people even bother to have sex after having a baby. The time will come when things will go back to normal. You will enjoy sex again (and possibly even more). Rest assured, people wouldn’t procreate multiple times if it didn’t feel good.

About the Author

Christine Santos

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Owner of Sun State Doulas, Christine is passionate about pregnancy, birth, and parenting issues that affect mainstream families. She is mother to 3 girls and is an active member of the roller derby community. Her favorite quote is, “Not my body, not my baby, not my birth, not my choice.”

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