dads, dads and doulas, reasons to hire a doula, doula

Dads and Doulas- We’re Not Here to Replace You

Dads Know Their Partner Better Than Anyone Else

Often we will meet with couples and the dads are worried about our doulas taking over their role of support at the birth of their child. That’s the last thing in the world we want! Our doulas are there for support, not just for the birthing individual, but for their partner as well. Our goal, as professional doulas, is to be able to help you be so prepared for your baby’s birth that you walk into that environment confident, secure, and excited about being able to support your partner. We want you to feel prepared and supported during the process of birth and entry into parenthood. Dads are a vital part of the birth process. We feel it is important for you to feel supported in your role there.

As doulas, we know the ins and outs of birth. We know what to expect, we know what is typical of a normal birth, we know pain management techniques, and we know affirmations to help both of you through labor. What we don’t know is your partner. Sure we take the time to get to know both of you during your prenatal visits and during the pregnancy, but we will never know your partner the way you do. We know how to offer encouragement and support, you know how to get inside her mind. You know the words that will speak to her soul and offer her true comfort and support when she feels like she can’t go on. You know exactly what to do that will calm her and keep her grounded at her most vulnerable.

We are doulas, we know your partners birthing body. You are dads, you know your partner. We aren’t there to replace you. No, instead we are there to support both of you so you can be your best self to support your partner. As doulas we facilitate that partnership so the birthing individual has the very best birth team she could hope for. A supportive doula, an encouraging partner, attentive nurses, and a knowledgeable doctor – what could be better? Working in unison, we create the perfect team of support for you, your partner, and your baby.

Here at Sun State Doulas, we support dads! Here are a few things dads have said about having a doula at the birth of their child:

“I thought it was great to have an experienced guide to lead us through the process and to reassure us through the scary parts. A husband seeing his wife in pain is going to be unbelievably stressed no matter what, but having her there to reassure us that things were going well was beyond helpful.” – Ted

“Having a doula helped because it helped Anessa get through the labor easier. She was great in being able to tell me what to do to help Anessa. Different places to apply pressure or massage. She was also able to help the baby turn which made the labor a little less intense for Anessa. She was also very encouraging for Anessa when things got tough and I felt like I didn’t necessarily know what to say or how to help her feel better at that particular moment. Over all, no regrets.” – Zach


About the Author

Christine Santos

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Owner of Sun State Doulas, Christine is passionate about pregnancy, birth, and parenting issues that affect mainstream families. She is mother to 3 girls and is an active member of the roller derby community. Her favorite quote is, “Not my body, not my baby, not my birth, not my choice.”

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